The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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