If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
