Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Drake has all the answers
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
