if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
