plz talk dirty to me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
