well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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