And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
