so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
