After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
