420 ftw
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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