You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize