Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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