Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
