How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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