I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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