i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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