all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
