I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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