wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
