Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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