Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I touched a dick in church today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
