before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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