dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
