Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
