what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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