i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
