i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
