I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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