Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
