I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My ass is underappreciated
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
