I didn't shave. On purpose
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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