your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
