His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
