Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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