Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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