I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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