there's paper in my vomit.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
