East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
