I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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