I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
