I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
