just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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