We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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