We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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