At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
