What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
