I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do herpes really smell.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
