Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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