btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
