Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
