so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
