I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
