No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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