my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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