so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
