I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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