I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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