we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
