I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
