I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
