So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my shit smells like andre
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
