Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
