when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You may now shotgun with the bride
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
