I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
A+ Viking dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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