JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Every concussion has its silver lining
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
