He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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