I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
